Thursday, December 31, 2015

Cousin Jody and the Wheel of Misfortune

I have this cousin named, Jody. When he was a baby, his momma dropped him on his head—more than once. Somehow he got accepted for Wheel of Fortune, so he goes out there last July, while I was in D.C. He wanted me to go with him, but I couldn’t get done in D.C. in time. So he goes out to California by himself.

He said he couldn’t sleep for days cause he was so-o-o excited. He shows up at the studio one Monday for the shooting. They take you through the game, sort of a dress rehearsal, first. They let you spin the wheel and stuff. I think he said they played a whole dummy game for practice. So him and the other contestants were real keyed up and ready to play for real.

Finally the real game begins, Jody wins the Toss-up puzzle and gets to spin first. He guesses a ‘T’ (good one!). There are 2 ‘T’s, so he spins again. He guesses an ‘S’ (another good one!) and sure enough, there are 2 of ‘em. Next he buys an ‘O’. And there are a couple of them. Spins again, and asks for an ‘R’.  There’s two ‘R’s.

Then he says, “Pat, I’d like to solve the puzzle.” The host nods, and Jody says, “Anterian Pushonizer.”

So Pat Sajak does a double take and says, “What did you say?”

“Anterian Pushonizer.” Old Jody says it again, only with real conviction this time.

“I’m sorry, Jody. That is NOT correct. It’s Mary’s turn.”

Mary still has a very baffled stare all over her face. “Uh, I’ll spin, Pat,” she says. And she does. She lands on $550 and asks for a ‘D’. Bad idea, Mary!

So next it goes to Andrew and he spins the wheel and lands on “BANKRUPT.”

Then, you guessed it—it’s Jody’s turn again. He says, “Pat, I’d like to make another guess.”

So Pat looks worried, but what can he say? “Sure, Jody. Go ahead.”

“Anterian Pushonizer,” Jody guesses.

Pat and Vanna exchange looks of concern and bewilderment. They’re thinking, ‘Thank God this isn’t LIVE!’

“I’m sorry, Jody. That is incorrect.”

Mary blankly reaches over, spins the wheel and lands on $900. “I’ll take an ‘L’, Pat.”  Guess what? There are 5 ‘L’s.  As soon as Vanna reveals the ‘L’s and moves out of the way, Mary says, “I’d like to guess, Pat.” He looks relieved. With great deliberation, Mary announces, “Full-Color Illustrations.”

“Mary, that is correct.” The remaining puzzle letters are turned over and the audience starts applauding.

As soon as the whole puzzle is revealed, Jody shouts, “Hey, Pat, I thought you said the answer was not “Anterian Pushonizer.”

“It wasn’t, Jody. Mary’s guess was correct. The answer to the puzzle is, ‘Full-Color Illustrations.’”

So Jody runs over to the puzzle board (Vanna warily moves backward). He throws his hands up at the puzzle and says, “What do you call this? Anterian Pushonizer!

Pat’s had enough, so he motions for the stage hands to escort Jody from the studio, but first they have to catch him. He runs around and around the puzzle board, shouting, “Anterian Pushionizer, Anterian Pushonizer! See, I told you!”

He was finally caught and escorted off the studio lot. Needless to say, that particular show never aired.

Copyright© 2002 – Carolyn L. Sorrell – All Rights Reserved

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